Run Along

"I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free."
-Psalm 119:32


"Why are your legs so wide?" my six year old asked curiously. Her words pierced my heart and sent me into a tailspin of self loathing that stole my joy for the rest of the evening. The answer to my daughter's question is quite simple. I HATE exercise. The aches. The pains. The sweat. I loathe it all. There are literally hundred of things I would prefer to do rather than exercise. Though brutally honest, the words of my little girl effectively motivated me to seek a new path.

But, where was I to start? And how would I keep myself focused on my goals? I didn't have the answers. But I knew it was time to get moving. So, I dried my eyes, threw away all the chocolate, and began to ponder my fitness predicament with new eyes.

The Bible tells us that God has often used forty days to bring about change. Jesus was tempted for 40 days in the desert. Noah watched it rain for 40 days. Initially, Moses led the Israelites through the desert for 40 days. Last December, I turned 40years old. As I pondered the significance of "40" I came up with a plan.

It is time for a change. Gone are the days when I can sit idly by and ignore the needs of my body. After all, "my body is a temple" and I need to treat it as such. (1Corinthians 3:16) I have tried before and failed to remain motivated. When the heat of summer or the cold winds of winter set in, I quickly abandoned my best laid plans. So, I have decided to try a fitness experiment for the next forty days.

Each day, rain or shine, I will run. I have no illusions. My hope is that at the end of the journey I have a new attitude about exercise. I don't expect it to be easy to keep my commitment. Even if my attitude remains the same, perhaps a new habit will take root in my heart. Perhaps, if I stick to the plan, I will begin to see exercise as a habitual necessity, much like folding laundry or washing dishes. I probably won't love the process, but perhaps the results will be enough to keep me on track.

So, I am five days into my journey. It has occurred to me, that perhaps, this was the wrong time of year to take on this challenge. It is, after all, summer in Texas. For all of you less fortunate folks who do not happen to be living in the Lonestar State, summer in Texas is a whole new kind of HOT! My legs ache and my joints are stiff. Yet, despite my many grievances, I dutifully continue to step out onto the pavement each day. I still hate to sweat! But, my I-Pod is charged. My shoes are laced. And my mind is made up. Forging boldly ahead, I am ready to run along the path of His commands to find a healthier me. Who knows? Maybe I will even get my legs back!

Walk In Peace

"My covenant was with him, a covenant of life and peace, and I gave them to him; this called for reverence and he revered me and stood in awe of my name. 6 True instruction was in his mouth and nothing false was found on his lips. He walked with me in peace and uprightness, and turned many from sin." (Malachi 2:5-6)


Overly analytical and cautious, I am extremely prone to indecision. When I look back and ponder my past regrets, I recognize they are almost always linked to my inability to choose a path. Decisions are hard for a "control freak" like me. Desperate to make the best choice, I carefully study my options. I think. I ponder. I analyze. I question. And finally, I end up right back where I started, just more perplexed and anxious.

My endless quest for "the best" option, has often led me to heartache and loss. It is a character flaw I had hoped not to pass down to my children. So,naturally, I was a bit dismayed when I witnessed the same indecisive nature in my young son. For the past few weeks, Jack had gone back and forth about his seventh grade schedule. Afraid to choose the wrong electives, he brought his concerns to Marty and me. Time and time again, we counseled Jack to pray and listen to his spirit. One night, gripped with worry, Jack asked vulnerably, "How do I know what my spirit is telling me?"

As he remained paralyzed to make his choice, I saw uncanny similarities between me and my son. Confounded by his options, Jack's heart was filled with confusion. He longed to make the right choice. But, perhaps even more, he desperately wanted to avoid the wrong choice. Even though I completely understood Jack's caution, it was clear to me that choosing a path of confusion would only lead him astray.

His was a question I had pondered many times as well. Determined to quiet the growing sense of anxiety in my son, I researched the word "peace". With Strong's Concordance, I discovered the following synonyms for the word peace:

security (freedom for danger, risk, or uncertainty)
prosperity (a successful, flourishing, or thriving condition)
felicity (bliss)

Suddenly, the answer to Jack's perplexing question seemed so clear and simple. Like his mother, Jack was over thinking his decision. The right choice was the one that led to God's peace.

Feeling bold and empowered, I took this new knowledge to my son and reminded him that Jesus promised peace. Therefore, Jack need not fret as God has instructed him to "Go in peace. His journey has the LORD's approval." (Judges 18:6 NIV) The way was not hidden. Indeed, Jack's path was marked with security, prosperity, felicity. In a word...peace.

Taking some cues from scripture, Marty and I reminded Jack that God did not intend for him to be troubled by his options. To the contrary, God's desire is that Jack would allow God to lead him in peace, not confusion. For, we are told that "God is not a God of disorder but of peace." (1 Corinthians 14:33 NIV). As a child of God, Jack is "to be filled with joy and peace so that joy may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." (Romans 15:13 NIV) So, Marty and I continuously prayed for our son to be led with God's peace. Meanwhile, Jack began to take his thoughts captive and search his heart for peace.

This week, Jack finally had a breakthrough. At the dinner table, Jack announced he had made his final course selection. Although some of his choices were a bit of a surprise, Marty and I supported Jack's decision because his heart is at peace.

With his schedule finalized, Jack is now looking forward to a long and lazy summer. No doubt, next year holds new opportunities for Jack to grow in knowledge and prepare his mind for the future. Perhaps even more rewarding, I see my son growing wise with God, as he learns to walk in peace. (Malachi 2:6 NIV)

His Story

God's word had illuminated my path since I was a little girl. A gift for my birthday, I got my first Bible when I was five years old. My favorite place to read it was while I rode in the car on my way to my grandparent's house. My heart swelled with love for my Heavenly Father,as I studied the pictures in the stories with wonder. Intrigued by the characters, I listened intently as my loved ones read the stories of Noah and Moses. Learning from their experiences, I admired these characters deeply, as their faith became woven into mine.

As I grew, I soon discovered a painful truth. The road of life is difficult. When I encountered a flood of tears, I failed to recall the obedience of Noah. In the fires of adolescence, I did not have the courage of Daniel. As I wandered through the desert of early adulthood, I did not possess the same trust as Moses. It soon became clear that it was time for me to leave the "stories" of childhood behind. It was time to "grow up" and become part of His story.

Rather than reading the Bible for entertainment, I resolved to study it passionately. Instead of casually passing through each story, I carefully meditated on the truths within the scriptures. In time, the men and women of the Bible became as familiar to me as old friends. For, they were ordinary people facing real challenges, just like me. Their lives had been recorded by God so that I might learn from their mistakes, grow through their adversity, and walk faithfully with God.

A love letter written from God's heart, the Bible is filled with unshakable truth. In its pages, we find tangible evidence of God's limitless compassion and faithfulness towards His people. As His children, we must never stop maturing in our faith. To the contrary, we must continue to study our Bible as we allow God to grow us in wisdom and truth. For we are told that "all Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.(2 Timothy 3:16 NIV)

Today, I have another Bible. With notes in the margins and scriptures marked for memory, it is a recording of all I have learned with God. When storms of adversity rage in my life, my Bible gives me the courage to be still and trust that God is in control. As the fires of persecution blaze around me, it is God's word that gives me the strength to stand firm. And when temptation is all around me, my Bible helps me choose obedience.

Life has come full circle. For, I have been blessed with three children, and it is my task to teach them the truth in God's word. Daniel. Esther. Adam and Eve. Each of my children relate to different characters they meet as we read together. While we discuss the stories together, we apply them in our everyday lives as well. And as we study His word, my children understand that this book is more than just a bunch of stories.

It is the Bible. The living word of God. A revelation of His unchanging character and record of His amazing, sacrificial love. It's truth marks a path of righteousness, for "every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him is His gift to His children." (Proverbs 30:5) God's gift to His children, the Bible points the way to eternal life with Him. For, we are part of His story.

Wait

"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."---Psalm 27:14

After a long and somewhat discouraging day, I kneeled beside Sofie's bed and said a prayer over her as she sleepily laid her head upon her pillow. The first day of physical therapy since Sofie got out of her cast had not gone as I had anticipated.

While I had expected her to just stand up and walk, muscle atrophy had left her weak and unable to stand without assistance. It was now painfully obvious that the road before us was a bit longer than I had thought. I wanted to see my daughter run. I hoped to see the days of her injury behind us. After weeks of immobilization from a full leg cast and a wheelchair, I was tired of waiting.

As I leaned over to kiss Sofie's forehead, she put her little hands on my face and stroked my hair. "Do you know why I didn't pray for my leg tonight, Mommy? I think Jesus just needs me to give him some time," she said sweetly. Her wisdom pierced my heart as I heard God gently whisper, "Wait on me and I will strengthen your heart."

Many of us are waiting right now. Some are waiting on job or new opportunities. Others are waiting for healing and restoration. The simple truth is that sometimes God asks us to wait. And it's hard. Especially since we live in a fast food world of instant gratification.

Indeed, God continuously works behind the scenes of life as He prepares our hearts for His blessing. And as we wait, we must draw near to God for strength. Yes, sometimes we must wait on the Lord. But, He will not forget His children. Taking a cue from my little girl, we must remember, that sometimes God just needs some time.

Stay Hungry

Morning had faded into evening, and I was midway through my commitment to fast for a friend who was serving on a mission trip in Bolivia. With three hungry children, I dutifully prepared dinner. As the aroma of chicken nuggets and macaroni cheese filled the kitchen, I prayed for strength to remain hungry.

Hours later, the house was still and quiet, but my stomach was still growling. While chocolate pudding taunted me mercilessly from the fridge, I turned my thoughts towards God. Hungry and tired, my heart pondered my place in His kingdom.

In between hunger pangs, I considered the many changes my husband and I had embraced to allow me time to pursue my dream as a writer. Many sacrifices had been made so that I could serve the LORD with words. “What if I am wrong? What if this is all for nothing? Then what?" Hungry for spiritual fruit, I took my questions to God as He led me to seek nourishment from His word.

Scripture tells us “the laborer’s appetite works for him; his hunger drives him on.” (Proverbs 16:26 NIV). My hunger for His divine work in my life will not be satisfied immediately. In fact, it is God’s will that I remain hungry. For I must be willing to give up the comforts of today to see the glory of tomorrow.

With hearts bent towards instant gratification, we live in a society of abundance and self-satisfaction. In work. At play. Within every facet of our daily lives, we rarely deny ourselves even the simplest of pleasures. Consequently, many of us lack self-discipline and fall into gluttony. God wants more from His servants. He desires for us to be driven by His divine work in our lives.

I awoke the next morning and rushed to the kitchen. I waited with anticipation for my toast to spring out of the toaster. My fast was over. Still, I resolve to stay hungry, for “"blessed is the man who will eat at the feast in the kingdom of God." (Luke 14:15 NIV)

Hard To Love

"I give up! Some people are so hard to love!" my heart screamed. As tears rolled down my cheek, the ache in my heart turned to anger. Deeply wounded from the careless words hurled at me from another, I tossed the series of unfortunate events over in my mind and concluded that some people are just unlovable. With burning eyes and a broken heart, I decided life would be easier if I just stopped trying so hard to love the difficult people in my life.

Still, there wasn't time to sulk properly, for the responsibilities of a busy mom simply don't wait for heartbreak. My son had a taekwando class scheduled and we had to leave in a few minutes. Momentarily setting aside my pain, I pulled myself together and drove Jack to his Taekwando school.

Having promised my him that I would stay and watch, I sat down and waited for Jack's class to begin. Meanwhile, a lower belt class was just finishing up and their faces reflected discouragement. Looking at their expressions, I could feel their frustration and it was a feeling close to my heart as well.

In that moment, the lead instructor called the group to "take a knee" as he offered validation and encouragement. "I see your faces. You are right. This IS hard," he said frankly. "Earning a black belt IS hard. It is suppose to be hard. Most things worthwhile in life ARE hard," he continued wisely. "But, you have a patient teacher and I am here to help you. Just don't give up."

Though the teacher was not aware of the way God was speaking through him, I knew God was talking directly into my troubled heart. All at once, I didn't hurt so much. The words, filled with wisdom and truth, acted as a healing balm to my troubled spirit. God had seen it all and he understood my pain. Loving IS hard.

Then, a scripture crept quietly into my mind and has challenged me ever since. For God has called his children to love the unlovable.

“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.(Matthew 5:40-48 NLT)

Our ability to love has little to do with our own abilities. For love is not a feeling, but an act of worship. The sad truth is that some people are indeed unlovable. Love them anyway!

New Eyes

Shortly after putting out the emotional firestorm brewing in the heart of my wounded eight year old, I sent all three of my children off to school. Now running late, I threw on some clothes, quickly brushed my hair and put on my best fake smile before I rushed off in my car. Though I had started my day optimistic, the drama of the morning had me feeling wilted. Quite honestly, I was more in the mood to hide in my study with a cup of coffee and cyber-spy on my Facebook peeps than "go and be" the church.

Still, I had previously committed to help with the "Step Into Africa" exhibit at my church for "Go and Be" week. It was too late to back out now. So I half-heartedly drove to the exhibit, with a scowl in my heart. Hoping to lift my spirits, I turned on the radio and heard a favorite song called Give Me Your Eyes. seeing my need for an attitude adjustment, God now had my undivided attention.

As I drove, I silently prayed for new eyes...

"Dear God,
It has been a long morning and though the day is only beginning, I am already tired. I need an attitude adjustment. Help me to have your heart. Let me love what you love. Let me hate what you hate. Allow me to see this world with your eyes and let me be the hands and feet of Jesus. Let your people be a help not a hindrance. Show us how to step in compassion and walk in love, respecting the culture of Africa while embracing the needs of its people. Let me step into Africa today, Father, and give me your eyes."

Once I arrived at "Step Into Africa", I no longer had to actively seek for a new perspective. Truly, one would have to be completely void of compassion to have missed the misfortune suffered by the children featured in the exhibit. Being a mother, a teacher, and a woman, my eyes were quickly drawn to the children in the photos hanging on the walls. At first glance, the faces in the pictures seemed much like my own children. But as I studied the eyes looking back at me, I saw a noticeable difference. For these children had faced adversity that would cause most adults to shudder.

Many of the children were orphaned and homeless, desperate for shelter and life's bare essentials. Several were infected by HIV. All of them had seen life altered in some manner due to the AIDS pandemic in Africa. Captivated, I was drawn to the eyes staring back at me in the photos. While dwelling in the harsh realities of severe poverty, childhood had been eliminated for these kids.

For the next few hours, I assisted other visitors, as we conversed and reflected on all we had witnessed in the lives of these sons and daughters of Africa. As the morning quickly faded into afternoon, mine were not the only eyes opened to the plight of these forgotten children. As I reflected on the events of the day, I asked God to "turn my eyes away from worthless things,preserve my life according to your word." (Psalm 119:37 NIV)


"Give me your eyes for just one second. Give me your eyes so I can see. Everything that I keep missing. Give me your love for humanity. Give me your arms for the brokenhearted. The ones that are far beyond my reach. Give me your heart for the ones forgotten. Give me your eyes so I can see. Lord give me your eyes."-Brandon Heath