Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Confession: I am a recovering control freak. I like the predictable. I crave structure. I like to feel like I have all my ducks in a row. I want to be in control. It is how I am bent. And I am very early in my recovery.
Sometimes, in trial, life reminds me that I am truly not in control. In the midst of grief or pain, I want to disagree with God. Tell Him how it should be. Explain that somehow, the sovereign maker of all things has gotten it all wrong this time.
And yet, as a child of God, I am instructed to submit and trust Him who is greater. Like John the Baptist, I sometimes have questions. As John sat in prison awaiting his execution, surely life left him perplexed. Circumstances must have seemed out of control as he sent messengers to ask Jesus, "Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?" (Luke 7:20)
Jesus' reply to John's confusion was "Go back and report to John what you have seen and heard: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news in preached to the poor. Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me." (Luke 7:22-23)
Like John, I am called to trust God and acknowledge He is greater. In reply to my doubts, God says," As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." -(Isaiah 55:9) My God, is greater than the uncertainties around me. My God is stronger than my fears. My God is higher than any hindrance in my path. And He is sovereign, though I don't always understand His ways. I am so small.
Still, in faith, I cling to these promises and believe He is greater. Even in the bad stuff. Especially in the things I do not understand. And even though I am not in charge, I pray. Again. And again. And again. I cling to my Heavenly Father and I give Him my heart. All my doubts. All my fears. I give Him everything. He knows that I do not understand. And in love, He allows His comfort to cover me like a warm blanket. His word awakens truth in my soul. In faith, I choose to believe that above all else, "great is His love toward us, and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever." (Psalm 117:2)
Indeed, God is greater. He was in control when He led the Israelites out of Egypt and into a vast desert. He was in control as Jesus died on the Cross for the sins of all mankind. And He is in control now. In joy. In sorrow. He is greater.